I am so exhausted today! My girls woke me up at 5 AM!! Who does that (unless it’s for work)? They were in such good moods too, I couldn’t tell them to go back to bed like I wanted to. No, I had to drag my tired ass out of bed and make them breakfast, and of course no matter how many times I tell them to be quiet, that all the “normal” people in the house are still sleeping, they still managed to wake up one of my nephews, and then the three of them together woke up everyone else, so there you go, THE DAY HAS BEGUN!
Then I went to the gym and spent what little energy I had left so now I am completely loopy!!
To top this all off, that friend of mine I posted about, the one with the abusive bf, he was arrested this week. No, not for the abuse but for the B & E, grand theft, possesion of stolen firearms, etc, etc… crimes he’s commited these past few weeks (the list goes on by the day). I swear, my phone has never rang so much! I am trying real hard to still be a friend to her (even though she is a lieing, back stabber for reason’s unexplained) but it’s HARD!! She’s still drinking way too much and that causes her to repeat things over and over and OVER…I’m losing my damn mind! So I have to keep repeating myself and even I’M sick of hearing what I’m saying, but she doesn’t want to hear it, she doesn’t want to hear ANY of it! Not that she’ll be better off, that he wasn’t worth it, that now she doesn’t have to worry about guns being put to her head anymore, all the things I feel like I’m supposed to say as her friend! Nope, she just cuts me off and goes off and repeats a subject we just covered! So I finally tell her I’m tired and going to bed and then she calls me again at 2:30am, and when I didn’t answer she text me, “I just took 6” (Xanex I can only assume) and the other “Do you want to take a ride with me?” YEAH! That’s exaclty what I want to do!
Wow, does this make me horrible? I swear, I’m considering changing my number! Does that make me horrible? I’M JUST SOO TIRED! And she keeps asking me for advice but doesn’t really want any of it so she’s not ever listening anyway, all she’s doing is wasting my minutes! But still, I know she’s going through a hard time, and I know she’s been through a lot already but you know, I just moved out of my house, ended an eight year relationship with a man who was “slightly” (to be nice) controlling, left behind a “step son”, am living with my parents, trying to save up and get out and START MY LIFE OVER! I really don’t want the burdon of HER problems, I have plenty of my own! Not to mention all the legal shit me and my ex are FINALLY over with after 9 long months of not knowing what was going to happen! I’ve been making everyone elses problems mine for too many years, I think I’m entitled to some selfish time! I empathize with her and all but she made some shitty choices, now it’s time to pay up. She may go down with this guy for some of the things she did to help him, but she did that! I tried to be her friend, I tried to warn her and even when she didn’t listen, I still tried to be there for her, but…what else can I do? I’m not licensed for this shit! A line has to be drawn at some point…right?
Okay, forgive my rant, like I said, I’m completely drained and I needed to get this off my chest. What better way to get rid of it then to throw it out in space?